Hi all! I have been MIA for a while, not writing or making videos, ever since January. And later in this post you will understand why. But today I want to touch on a very important topic that seems to be relevant lately not only for me. I called this post THE grounding, because it is not going to be just another article about walking barefoot, spending time in nature and exercising. Instead, I will be talking about the phase of the ascension process a lot of us are going through that seems even wilder than what we have been through in the past 3 years.
I will be talking about how fundamental the process of re-assimilating to Earth is, how hard it can be, how backwards it feels, and how much life it puts in your body, making you feel incredibly alive, not giving a damn about another retrograde, or energy update videos, or healing anything, or ascension itself.
So we will start back in 2012.
Or whatever point in time it was for you, you yourself will know. It was when something weird just started happening to us, bizarre physical symptoms, hyper-sensitivity, feelings of doom and disorientation, vertigo and ringing in the ears. Our search for what the hell was going on brought us to blogs and youtube videos about ascension, star children, the event, and such. We started meditating, we went vegan, we started using crystals and tarot. Through meditation and contemplation we noticed that we had abilities we never believed existed, we started helping each other out, we have validated for ourselves our intuitive and sensitive powers ( and finally grasped that they ARE actually powers ), we got in touch with our inner knowing, inner power, we connected to the Universe, to Source, we saw past lives, we channeled ascended masters.
Then the time for intense emotional spring-cleaning hit. (For me it was after the total lunar eclipse in September 2015) We remembered our childhoods, we purged every single emotion that was left in our body and our subconscious from “before ascension”, we cried and we grieved our past forgotten pain. We became hermits, connecting through the screen with others who were going through similar journeys. We could not deny that it was not just us, that we were not crazy, and that, in fact, a lot of people in the world were going through weirdly-similar patterns. We left our jobs, we could not stand being amongst people who were asleep, we filled our newsfeeds with ascension updates and love-spreading light-warriors. We were up to date with every energy fluctuation from every source imaginable, we knew the schedule of full moons, eclipses, and retrogrades, and we pulled tarot religiously every day.
And, one day, it all changed.
(For me it was the day of the eclipse and the comet in 2017 – very symbolically, the day my son was born).
The process went backwards. We started grounding back. Turning back on that left hemisphere, turning back on the logic and linear thinking, feeling the fire in our belly, and being dropped lower and lower to the ground. And it took me forever to see it as a process of grounding, as I was resisting it so much. My body was craving meat, I started smoking again, and the undeniable feeling like some decisions needed to be made. It all felt so against what I had just learned! I judged myself, I hated myself, I was confused, angry, sad, and again confused.
And then I hit the ground really hard. In one moment I saw my life completely differently. I saw it from the viewpoint of the girl who started out on this journey. It felt like I got back into the time continuum 🙂 I finally looked at my life in a more linear fashion, and I saw where I was. This is when the Radical Honesty video was born. I took a really honest look around my life, with my feet on the ground. I was truly shocked. I felt like I was missing from my life for years flying in some tornado of events and emotions, and I finally got dropped back in. It was painful, it was sobering, it was LIBERATING. As hard as it was to look at your life and your self broken in pieces, it was also incredibly energizing. I felt present, I felt intensely alive, I finally felt like I had power.
In a week I got a job. A real on-the-ground job with the most asleep people you could imagine. And they are in fact, just people. But I felt like I felt down from Mars into a circus. I could not believe what I was witnessing. Why did I get a job when I could happily make youtube videos at home and do sessions in the park? I felt like I was in a very stale water, and no matter what I was doing “the old way” was not stirring it enough to get out. I KNEW I needed to start moving. Actually physically moving. So getting a job to get out of the house every day was a very logical decision.
There I was faced with a ton of weird situations. They felt like watching a silly movie. I could not believe they were actually happening. And I looked at them with the old ” what needs to heal inside of me so that I do not attract this bullshit” thinking. And I tried meditating, and being mindful, and meditating some more. And none of it brought any relief. It only made it all worse. Much worse. …. Until …. I stopped looking at it that way. I stopped digging in energies for answers, I stopped turning on myself, and looked at the situation for what it was: factually, concrete, in the moment. I looked at life in a very “flat” way ( that my mind was still judging ) and it gave me so much relief, so much joy, so much feeling like home, like my normal self.
I had this lurking idea over the past year that I can release myself from constant processing, and integration, and healing by simply letting go of thinking about life in terms of ascension and healing and energies. I was very repulsed by any energy forecast videos, and could not stand the word healing.
I knew that in order for me to climb out of what felt like a deep dark hole, I needed to let go of “ascension” itself as a process, and just move on.
Forget all about energies and retrogrades and start moving in the direction that I wanted .. but now with my feet on the ground. In body. Fully present.
At this point I already understood that it was all about how grounded and present I am, and I did all possible to try and ground more. I knew what decisions needed to be made, and I did everything to bring that about.
But it did not work. Whaaaat ? How? Why ?
It just did not. The knowing and understanding alone was not enough to make the wheels of life turn. I felt like I was forcing life to go faster. I was pushing, and the wagon was just not moving. During days that I felt “checked out” of life because I had a hard time staying present, I tried my best to focus and pull my grounded self out, but 90 % of the time it just would not work. Even when I knew exactly what to do.
And just the other day I noticed a very interesting theme. I noticed that the instances that brought me into acute presence in the moment, dropped me into the body, were never forced. They never happened because I knew what to do to ground. A random conversation, or a random thought that I remembered ( yes, remembered, like a thought from my old grounded vocabulary that I would think in certain situations ) would arise and snap me into a grounded “flat” state of consciousness. It felt like muscle memory – my body was waking up and my mind was remembering myself with it. And most importantly, again ( AGAIN 🙂 ) I understood that I had no control of it.
Sounds like an oxymoron. Grounding that is not controlled. 🙂 But it does feel like it. It still feels very much like a guided journey, that is intricately scripted, unfolding slowly, intensely, and all in the right time. And it has nothing to do with the agenda of the mind. And the mind is the one in the hot seat right now. As we ground, it changes by the minute – everything from how we process reality to how we narrate our feelings to how we talk about our feelings to what decisions we make – changes. And as we come back to the ground, as we drop back in our bodies, we feel more and more present in the moment, we feel intensely alive, we feel the joy of being, and we start grasping ( very viscerally ) that WE – the self – is our most valuable possession of all.
The joy of life returns with a BANG. Not the empty head-joy. But the one that fills our bellies with life and makes us feel our toes. Full moons now amplify JOY, the orgasmic sensation of being alive. And the thoughts of energy patterns are far behind us. Well, may be sometimes they creep in, but we look at them with one eyebrow raised, turn around and skip to the next thing we want to enjoy.
GROUNDING is happening. We are being called to ground the purified self. The original one. 🙂 The core of the onion. It feels about 1,000,000,000 times more intense than when we did it as kids. It feels more traumatic, more heart-breaking, more raw, BUT it equally feels that much more powerful and joyful. It feels FULL. It feels WHOLE. (And yes, it feels scary)
Now, I want to get into details and some interesting observation of mine about grounding:
How grounded you are has much more to do with your thought patterns than with how much time you spend barefoot.
We all know that grounding comes with acute connectedness to surroundings, to nature. We all know we feel more grounded and focused when we exercise or in any other way engage the body into motion. We also know it is incredibly grounding to do what you enjoy – it pulls you in the moment. But how grounded do you stay when sh*t hits the fan? How grounded are you when things are not going “your way”? How grounded are you in the mist of chaos? This is where your mind is really put to the test and acts as a foundation for your well-being. Later, it is directly proportionate to what you will manifest into your life. Here is where it is really important – what thoughts will you pick to process reality. Here is also where a lot of “light workers” get stuck, because we are used to think in terms of energy patterns and opportunities to heal. When a grounded self accepts reality as is, accepts oneself as is, and calmly makes conclusions on how to move forward with the best interest of self in mind. Here is where it is important to let go of “ascension”, “the process”, “the event” and just look at LIFE: what is happening ( not what you think or believe is happening ) but what actually is? Facts. No interpretations. No signs. But what is actually going on and how do you actually feel about it, letting go of the need to be conscious, enlightened, or in any way “better” or “other” than what you actually are.
Getting back to your roots is super helpful.
For me, it is incredibly helpful to talk to my parents. Not only does it remind me of myself, it ignites, like muscle memory, the thought patterns that used to fire when I was much more grounded. My parents have no affiliation with any energy stuff, and process reality in a very linear, flat, logical way. It feels very refreshing, and as a result grounding lights up your heart and clears the mind. Visiting your hometown works like magic, or other places where you used to function in a very grounded way. Remembering where you come from, owning your past without trying to heal it or change it – super grounding.
Intellectual engagement feels amazing while grounding.
It fires up the left hemisphere, helps you get focused and sharp. Which later helps you create life with more precision. So if you have been thinking of learning a new language or going for another degree – you will LOVE it. (I am learning animation and code 🙂 )
There is incredible grounding power in self-acceptance.
Throughout all the time of grounding one pattern has been the most prominent – and that is really owning yourself, your positive and “negative” ( although I can not even call them that anymore ) sides. Owning your trauma, owning your confusion, owning your pain, owning all the realness of you. Forget about being enlightened, spiritual, self-aware and conscious, and just be YOU. In the moment. Your consciousness will not leave you, I promise. What has been lit by the light of God inside of you will never be forgotten, it is now etched in your heart. But letting go and allowing yourself to be present in life with all your “flaws” is what will give you joy and the orgasmic feeling of aliveness.
No matter how much you try to help yourself ground, it will all go according to the higher plan anyway.
This is the weirdest part of it all. While grounding is all about taking control of your life and taking action, there is still a very sharp line on how much we do control. The speed of going back to the ground is set “upstairs”, and the more I try to implement my own strategies, the more I laugh at myself and let go 🙂 Trying to get some place will lever get us there, only letting go and doing what feels right in the moment will.
I hope this was helpful to you if you feel like you are going through similar things and the old “new” ways we learned to live by do not seem to “work” anymore. For the longest time I felt very lonely in this process, even with my “ascension community” who is a lot about energy updates and healing and retrogrades. I felt like I was the only one “going backwards”. But lately so many of you started coming to me in sessions with similar “symptoms”, and basically all the sessions turn out to be about me helping you ground (while before it was literally the opposite), helping you find a grounded way of looking at your life, and, most magically and most importantly, helping you break out of self-hatred and “healing” into full self-acceptance, and living for the sake of joy and personal fulfillment.
If you feel like a session with me sounds fun, please message me on FB or go through the contact page here on my site. I have temporarily deactivated my Genbook, as I have a very tight controlled schedule, so I prefer to schedule every session “by hand” these days. Also, recently I have randomly set a price for my sessions to $175 (from 350), and decided to keep it there for a while, so if any of you have been waiting for discounted sessions, now is a good time.
I hope all of you are doing well and are enjoying life to the fullest. Let’s chat in the comments, and I will see you in the next blog or on YouTube.
Love, Katya <3