The process of Ascension is weird. You know it. I know it. Weird.
It’s been a wild ride for me, with a TON of rock bottoms, and the same number of breakthroughs and shifts.
Today I feel especially reflective upon this interesting journey, as I find myself more and more grateful for so many blessings that take place of the old crap that I have cleared over the last 6 months. Let’s ride back to the very beginning, and see the progression of this Ascension thing that has been such a blessing in disguise. Recognize any of these?
The “WTF?!!” phase
When it starts, the only sensible thing you can utter over and over again, is WTF, life? The most bizarre physical symptoms combined with constant sense of anxiety and doom, topped with strange life changes – the feeling of shock and panic is your partner. Over time it slowly mutates in this numbness with fear and uncertainty, combined with helpless surrender into whatever it is that came to mess up your life.
The “WHY?” phase.
Commonly known as integration phase. Fears, limiting beliefs you have picked up in this life and others, doubts, old trauma, new trauma – everything has gotta go. It’s spring cleaning time, my friends, and Mr Clean is not f&^%ing around.
The “Thank You” phase
This is when you feel like you have died and come back to life over and over again, senseless and numb, finally crawling out of the cave on all fours, because you are that exhausted of fighting yourself, and what do you see? Your star family, your soul tribe, your freedom that you held dear as a concept all this time, this theoretical abundance that people kept talking about – all come to party with these remnants of you, that you now come to realize are the actual you. The syncronicities are off the charts, it feels like your guides are having a party. You care way less, if any, what people think, you finally start doing what you really want without giving a f%$#k, and you can’t help but thank life every day.
Holy shift, right?
In the short couple of months with less integration and more shifts, I think I have already said “thank you life” waaaay more times than I have ever said “why”. I remember my life being filled with WHYs: why do I need to experience this, why do I need to see this violent scene, why do I need to mend this relationship, why do I need to forgive, why do I need to confront this fear. There were many, and all came from a sincere feeling of helplessness. My poor lower self felt like it was cornered, shoved into circumstances that made it unbearable to continue unless I faced and integrated the issue at hand.
Yet I am amazed in just a couple of months how much has changed and how much my attitude has changed. Am I still called to face my fears? You bet. Do I still have “integration days”? Yes, and often. But the ratio of “ugh” to “thank you life” has changed so much, that I just HAD to share it.
For all of you who are now faced with your biggest fears, who feel like life is playing a cruel joke on you, who are facing yourself and your past for the first time for real, it does get better. MUCH better.
And for those of you who are right with me on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, let’s go build the New Earth and help those just now crossing. With much joy, lightness of heart, and humor.
Smoothie cheers to the “Thank You” Phase.
Love, Katya <3