Empathy and sensitivity.
I have hated both with passion all my life up until earlier this year. I believed that it were these two things that were a source of all my suffering: they made me different, broken, unlovable. It was my sensitivity that made my parents shake heads and sigh in disapproval and non-acceptance, it was my wide-open heart that was a target for ridicule of my peers, it was my sensitivity that made me see pictures I did not understand and feared. It was them two that made me feel things so deeply and intensely, both for me, for others, and for the collective.
What I have come to realize throughout the last year is that being a sensitive, being an empath is actually tapping into the Unity Consciousness. It is feeling the collective heart – the one heart we all share. It is a gift, it is the future of all humanity to be that sensitive. We are all moving there now, as the shift is occurring on the planet.
I cave come to this conclusion through the series of events and revelations. As you know, after September 27-28th, 2015, when the first wave of gamma rays hit Earth, I started seeing a lot of past lives and healing the past life trauma. One of the lives I saw as the eky to my understanding of unity and how we are all connected through the heart. thsi was a life, after seeing which, I was given a beautiful lecture by my higher self and I started experiencing automatic writing.
In this life I was a little girl. Fully connected, whole little person. I was different then other kids, and they hated me for that. For the fact that I was different, that I did not need them or their approval to be happy, that I was perfectly fine being alone in my magical world. They have killed me with big metal shovels in the yard of my house and buried me right there. I felt so much confusion while dying, as I could not understand why would someone inflict pain upon another, if we all had one heart. I could sense how those boys alsmot had a barrier to their hearts, they could not or did not want to access it anymore. After I have ascended from my body into the healing chamber and to the council, here is what they said:
We are all united here. Our hearts are united. Each one of us is the one being hurt, and the one inflicting the pain. Each one of us is the killer and the victim, we are one in our perfect expression. One person being hurt is rippling into whole. Like strings that connect all hearts. Of all people on the planet. There is a gold rope from one heart to another, and when one heart is hurt, it resonates through the rope to each heart connected to it, which are all hearts of the planet. When one heart heals, then it resonates to all other hearts connected to it through the rope, which are all hearts on the planet. Each one of us is responsible not only for our own heart, but for the hearths of all others on the planet, as we are all connected. We are all the same Divine Energy expressing itself and experiencing itself through different forms. We are all one. By hurting ourselves, we hurt each other. Because the heart is one. The heart is the same. By denying ourselves something, we deny it to all others as well. By allowing ourselves to feel deep love, we are allowing others to feel the same.
This really helped me understand how unity works. And later I got an even bigger glimpse into how empathy works, how it is connected to the heart, and what amazing miracles can it do.
It was when I started offering my intuitive sessions. When I show up for a client in a session, I am dropping all judgement or mental processing of what I receive or perceive as a result of our conversation. I am being called to show up for people with an open heart and full empathy. Part of the reason is that my portal into the other person’s energy field is that same empathy. By attuning myself to the person and feeling their vibe, their emotional state, I am able to get the data for them. And most of all, I am able to open my heart for them fully, as I get to experience how would it feel to be them, in their situations, living their childhood, in their circumstances etc. I get to become that person for a little and practice complete non-judgement and unconditional presence for them.
With months and months of doing these sessions I have realized that it is our natural state. The non-judgement and full feeling for others. The state of openness and unconditional love and acceptance.
I have been able to clearly see how we learn to judge, learn to label things and people as good or bad, fitting the mold or not, behaving in acceptable manner or not. Before we have picked up that programming, we were fully in the heart. We were unconditionally accepting, loving and fully present which whatever the state or emotion to our capacity.
Now we are being asked to go back to that state. Through the process of spiritual awakening we are expanding our awareness of what empathy is, and we are undoing years and years of learned habitual blocking of the heart.
Through showing up for clients in my sessions I have also learned that:
1) I feel and understand the person through the heart ( whether my mind might judge them or not)
2) I can help people like this with data that is in that feeling
3) I can connect authentically with so many people through empathy and open heart. Various people in various places in their lives, at different stages of their growth and development. Different races, cultures, sexual orientation. Through empathy I am able to find the one common thing we all posses – love in our hearts. Unconditional love for one another that we have all forgotten. The feeling that we are all in this together, that we are all equal, that we are all one.
So if our empathy and sensitivity are a portal to the feeling of Unity and unconditional love, why do we resist them so much? Why do we hate our own sensitivity?
Because we have never been taught to feel. We have never been taught that feeling intense emotions is OK. We have never been given tools on HOW to handle those intense emotions. We have never been taught how our emotions work and why are they there. We have grown up being emotionally – illiterate.
Instead we have been persuaded that :
- We should not feel the way we feel, and if we do, we are broken. This is the foundation of so much grief and mis-alignment in our society.
- Feeling negative emotions makes you a bad person. This one has just puts us in a tiny jail cell, where all we can do is be happy. And if we are not, we are judged, not loved, not accepted. Furthermore, we learn not to love and accept ourselves as a result of having any negative emotions.
So naturally, we started believing that feeling so deeply, and not only your own emotions, must be a fundamental flaw in our creation. We must be really broken and crazy, because we feel all of these emotions, and on such a deep level.
Then further, we have been taught that we should shield ourselves and our energy from that of others so that we do not have to feel what others feel. This, in my opinion, is running away from where we all are trying to go. It is coming up with ways to not feel that sensitivity, to go back to building walls around us and our hearts. Why? Because again, we are that emotionally illiterate. We fear our own emotions and emotions of others. We pick up all these comfortable beliefs that feeling the feelings of others drains our emotional field, that we must protect our sensitive energy from people who might abuse our openness.
In my opinion, this could not be further from the Truth.
In reality,we are connected to feelings and emotions of others whether we choose so or not. Through that same collective heart. And shielding ourselves from experiencing our natural state of sensitivity and empathy to another perpetuates more and more separation – the very thing we are trying to move away from.
Then when it comes to the belief about emotions of others draining us and our energy field, I can only see that happening if you are doing so in fighting your own alignment. As if you are fully aligned with yourself FIRST, there is nothing to drain, as you are a never-ending flow or source energy, you are infinite, there is no end to your energy and to that what you can share with others through your open heart.
Here I am going to make an important stop and explain one phenomenon that people usually mistake for and confuse with their empathetic abilities, later blaming them for all their misfortunes. Hyper-attunement.
Hyper-attunement comes from a desperate need to control emotional states and well-being of people around you for the sake of your own safety and well-being.
A lot of the times it stems from growing up with people who did not have control or knowledge of their own emotions, lashed out at you often and uncontrollably, which made you feel fundamentally unsafe. From there, you have tried all you could to make those people happier, to manage their moods for the sake of feeling safe yourself. A very common scenario.
Here our empathy came in handy. As we could always tune into what the other person was feeling and try and manipulate it into a more even, calm state.
We started believing in illusion of control for the sake of our survival. We stopped focusing on how we are feeling, and started living in the energy fields of others, making sure they were stable. We have acquired this coping mechanism of perceived control over emotions of another, so that we can feel safe. And we have blamed our empathy for it all.
While it was a way out of complete helplessness as a child, now this coping mechanism is begging to go. As we become more and more conscious of how our thinking and emotional bodies operate, how emotions work, as we become more and more proficient at feeling our feelings and not escaping from them, the distinct difference between hyper-attunement for the sake of control versus experiencing complete emotional empathy through the power of an open heart needs to be acknowledged. This was we stop blaming our sensitivity for our childhood traumas and coping mechanisms we have picked up along the way that are hurting us now, and start seeing empathy for what it really is – a doorway into feeling and living in a state of unity.
So to summarize and answer my question “How To Be An Empath?” I would answer this:
To be a happy empath, one needs to:
- Accept feeling. Realize that feeling is a huge and inevitable part of your Soul experiencing itself in the body.
- Learn how emotions work and allow themselves to feel those emotions fully and to completion.
- Do your own emotional integration work. Work with your triggers. Trace them back to the trauma and feel and understand the experience as your adult self. Take those childhood emotional experiences to completion.
- Explore the vast range of emotions a human experience has to offer, including all the negative emotions, and learn not to judge them. Or yourself and other people for having them.
- Practice being present and feeling more and more every day. It might be like learning to breathe or walk again, but it is OK. We are learning to embrace the full human experience and learn the power of our open heart while doing so. We are learning just how huge our hearts are and just how easy our natural state of empathy can transmute any suffering into love and unity.
- Practice being present and feeling fully with others and their emotions. Do not run from them. Give them a space in the room to be present.
- Practice not resisting your natural desire to help and “feel for” others. In you showing up to your longing to help and be with the other person while they feel the hardest of emotions, you will learn just how powerful your heart is, and how unity is born out of empathy.
- If you find yourself being hyper-attuned, pull your focus on your internal space as many times per day as you can. Slow down as much as you can to learn his new way of being. And let go of the illusion of control. Other people’s reactions to you and life in general are solely their responsibility, and you could not change them even if you tried really hard. Instead of trying to control them or any outcomes, ground yourself in belief that no matter what happens, you are now emotionally proficient and know how to feel and be OK feeling. This way you will be able to show up coming from the real place of empathy, yet non-attachment. You will be coming from love, and not from fear of their reactions or actions.
- Practice helping people with your empathy. Intentionally tune in to other people’s energetic and emotional fields. This will give you a great exercise in differentiating when you are “out there” and when you are inside of your own container.
I hope this was helpful. Like, share, subscribe, and let me know your thoughts and progress in the comments.
Love, Katya Turner <3
P.S. October batch of discounted intuitive sessions has just been released, so grab yours at half off while they last here: http://www.genbook.com/bookings/offers/2142048889?bookingSourceId=1025