Feel Like You Are Moving Backwards ? HUGE INTEGRATION Is Happening

  • moving backwards huge integration energy update ascension update ascension help katya turner indigo diaries purpose calls

Hi guys, today I want to talk about such a hot topic. Massive integration that leaves a lot of us confused, worried, lacking clarity and direction.

Over the last couple of months a lot of bizarre things have been happening with so many people. And a lot refer to it as “ I feel like I am moving backwards. Regressing. Going back in time to my old life”. Oh my, I get you! In so many ways I am right with you.

Lately we have been noticing so many of the old elements of our life and ourselves come back. Old jobs, people, relationship patterns, life cycles. We find ourselves in situations we have lived out before, we are guided in the same scenarios, places, activities. We pick up old habits, hobbies. And with all that, every other day we feel like we wake up in another part of our old life. Living the same feelings, the same ascension symptoms, feeling the same physically, looking for the same answers as before.

Are we regressing? Are we becoming less aware, less spiritual, less ascended? I don’t think so.

What I feel like is happening ever since May this year, and is in full bloom now, is a MASSIVE INTEGRATION that is sweeping all over the Lightworker community. We are literally integrating all the versions of ourselves we have ever been into ONE. THE ONE.

You ten years ago getting a divorce, you just waking up to the power of your true self, you being at your best and highest a couple of years ago, and you being in the deepest depth of your despair just months ago.

Personally, I am experiencing the same. I started smoking again ( random! ), all of a sudden I am working on a collaboration with Basmati.com creating a video course for natural pregnancy ( I haven’t touched that topic since mid 2015 and now I find it interesting again and that I have much more to say there). I am picking up my work with purpose calls, helping people develop their intuitive abilities, working on a school project in Ukraine, working at a restaurant and doing graphic design all at the same time. I feel like my pre-USA self, childhood self, ascension-just-kicking-in self, dark-night-of-the-soul self, super-high-vibe-all-natural-vegan self, all at the same time. Fusing and melting together into One, dissolving last bits of resistance to the natural flow. I am a mom and my college self at the same time. I am a wife and my 16 year old self. I even started drinking coke the other day ( haven’t had a sip for YEARS ) and felt like I was actually enjoying it.

And resistance from our mind is quite natural. First of all, we are now called to release all judgement we hold towards things we have “got rid of” while ascending. But also, we wake up one day feeling a certain way, and we notice specific themes and scenarios playing out, we start noticing where and how the momentum is flowing. Next day, though, none of that applies. You feel like a different aspect of you is in the forefront, and you see the scenarios take a different turn developing in another direction.

How exquisite is this trust fall test? It can not get any more random and confusing, yet we are asked to take our hands off the steering wheel completely and trust blindfolded. The other day my guides showed me this one song that is soooo on point here ( I wonder do these people know, and I mean really know, what they are channeling while writing these songs? )



And if our mind has a hard time letting go and finding a space of trust, we find ourselves quickly spiraling down into the negative vibes, unearthing such thought patterns we thought we got rid of a LONG time ago. It’s like we are INSTANTLY burned by the low vibes, our being can no longer survive there. Hence the only option is to find more ways to get out of negative thinking, refocus, ground yourself and find that trust in your guidance. Even when you do not feel it slightly.

Intense stuff, but all aspects of us have to be cross-checked, cross-referenced, fused together in order for us to INTEGRATE fully. And my personal advice would be to focus on the way you are being guided ( positive synchronicities, signs ), use every trick you know to keep your mind positive, focus on your vision ( what you want in life – separate blog coming about this ) and let go of the need to understand the bizarre. Just take your hands off the steering wheel and let your HS guide you into your fullest integration.

I am really curious to hear about your experiences in the last couple of months and how you are keeping yourself “high” through this. Let’s talk in the comments!

And here are a couple of exciting updates from me:

  1. In the end of July I will do some very interesting FREE live calls:

    FREE Purpose Call on 7/24 at 7PM Central

    Free Live Mini-Sessions Call on 7/30 at 7PM Central ( Wanted to chat with me but can not afford my regular session rate? This is definitely a cool opportunity )

    Intuitive Abilities 101 on 7/31 at 7PM Central – I’m sooooo excited about this !!! On this call I will tell you all about the heart field, how to tap into it, and we will create a virtual classroom where we will do FUN exercises, have a group discussion, and master our intuitive abilities together.

  2. Also, you can finally met me in person and hear me speak live at a conference. Oct 6 and 7th I will be in Sarasota, FL with my awesome friend Andrew Martin and other amazing holistic practitioners. Come enjoy the beach, great discussions and high vibes of togetherness with me!
  3. Also….drumroll please…starting now until the end of August 2017, I want to make admission into the PurposeCalls.com video course FREE. If you feel like you are stuck and are not sure how to find joy in life, how to feel fulfilled, how to navigate through the challenges, you will LOVE PurposeCalls.

Exciting stuff !!! Hope you are all doing well. See you in the next blog.

Love, Katya Turner

By | 2017-07-20T12:41:16+00:00 July 20th, 2017|ASCENSION, ENERGY UPDATES, PURPOSE|7 Comments


  1. Christina July 21, 2017 at 2:23 am

    Since waking up last fall I am not sure who I am anymore, I lost many family members due to the fact that I looked like I was going crazy, I still have not recovered these relationships, I lost all interest in studying healing work, or anything really that used to make me happy it all feels lost to me now, my focus is 100 percent on finding my way back to a good place again in my head. I feel stuck and lost, everyday melts into the next and I feel like I’m getting nowhere, I feel a bit like I am in a constant state of review of my life, and in a desperate state of waiting on the world to change, cycling back and forth between this and disbelief that any of this could even possibly be REAL (ascension) (disclosure of being a slave race) (illuminati (elite) control) This is a very confusing time and it’s very hard to find support immediately surrounding myself, there is much information on the internet but this feels surreal and detached and leaves me in a state of “can this actually all even be really happening”. I thought I would share my experience for others who may be feeling the same, and in the hopes that I may find some clarity for myself as well, this does not sound as devastating as it truly is inside of me everyday, I live in the Cincinnati, Ohio area and am seeking a support group of some kind with actual people going through this but I am falling short at every attempt,(normal mental health care professionals do not understand.) If I had been completely honest with my them they would insist I was crazy and want to medicate me, this actually was barely avoided, had I been honest with my awakening, dark night of the soul and kundalini experiences I probably would have collected many mental health labels and many prescriptions and a belief from everybody in my life that I had lost my mind. How can this subject still be lost to so many?

  2. Katya Turner July 21, 2017 at 5:49 am

    HI Christina, I absolutely know how you feel and so many of us went / still going through what you are describing. This ascension process is very much characterized by first disassembling your SELF into little pieces and purging all that no longer serves you – limiting beliefs, fears, healing past trauma. that is when it seems like your life is always in review. And the best way I found is to just give in to the process. As far as getting bak into a good mental state here is what works for me :meditation, practicing gratitude, I AM exercises, and in general doing what I want in the moment ( living for myself). Here is also a post I did a while back about different stages of ascension I went through and what I have learned from each, and in the end it has a lot of links to support groups where you can find people going through the same and some who possibly live in your area: https://indigodiaries.com/ascension-help-kit-practical-tools/ I hope it helps <3

  3. Melanie July 22, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    At 48, I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This was not on the heels of revealing my starseed identity, my psychic gifts, or discussing ascension with the psychiatrist who performed the evaluation. I simply disclosed a lifetime of erratic behavior and suffering that not one professional previously explored. They merely masked symptoms with pills for “depression.” This new diagnosis brought all the pieces of my life together; and what a grand opportunity to integrate the invisible partner who was never silent but ignored, excused, and dismissed. The self-saboteur. Now we can heal together.

    I did so much emotional work, spiritual discovery, and addiction recovery myself over the last six years that I never considered a more in-depth examination. I actually fell into this eval while speaking with a State social worker about receiving benefits because I’ve not been able to find work as a “disabled” person. I thought the depressive episodes were just flares of autoimmune ailments that were debilitating. My Higher Guidance kept urging me on – to keep seeking answers. I feel so free now! This integration is crucial to my evolution, and I am so thankful!

    • Barbara July 27, 2017 at 11:30 am

      Hello Melanie,

      Thank you for sharing your inner-strength, courage, honesty, vulnerability and your willingness to share your story, to include a topic that many shy away from due to the fear of what’s not completely understood.

      I have no doubt that we were meant to cross paths in order to mirror to one another what we can learn and remember in order to Be full-potential, multidimensional self.

      I can very much relate to most of what you shared, because I’m almost 44, and I, too, have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder after merely disclosing all that I’ve noticed about me with psychologists and psychiatrists who performed the evaluations.

      Granted, this was a year before I retired from the Army, and before I even knew what the ascension process and ascension symptoms were, what a starseed is, and that I even had psychic abilities.

      You’re right about “I simply disclosed a lifetime of erratic behavior and suffering that not one professional previously explored.” Within a couple of years of individual and group therapy sessions, I started noticing that the professionals would ask me more questions, and I would answer them (through intuition/insight/inner-wisdom).

      I then discontinued going to therapy sessions (as shared within my blog) because I realized that I was able find more answers within me, from the very broad spirituality community, and from books, blogs, websites, dream messages, etc. that highly resonate with me.

      Some examples include: We, The Arcturians by Dr Norma J Milanovich, Betty Rice, Cynthia Ploski, the Pleiadian books by Barbara Marciniak, and other teachings and/or readings from the Family of Light, to include Sirians, Andromedans, Lyrians, etc. Also, a couple of the Z.Sitchin books I’ve read so far about the Anunnaki.

      I always follow my inner guidance (for discernment) whenever I read anything, only extracting what resonates with me, and releasing whatever doesn’t.

      And you’re spot on about “They merely masked symptoms with pills for ‘depression.'” I stopped taking them as soon as I got out, because they were making me—and several others from my military women’s PTSD group—feel emotionally numb and everything else that doesn’t feel good.

      It’s interesting that you stated, “I did so much emotional work, spiritual discovery, and addiction recovery myself over the last six years […]” because I got out of the Army in July of 2011, so it’s been six years of deep healing and spiritual discovery myself.

      I’m happy for you that you were able to extract much wisdom from your spiritual journey so far; you’re a very strong and intelligent woman. I don’t know you on a human level, but it doesn’t matter, because I strongly sense that we can intuitively know one another at a soul level.

      I trust that you will find a job or spiritual career that you’re passionate about, and that you can whole-heartedly enjoy, in Divine perfect timing and order (with patience and trust in self). I have no doubt that you were meant to do much more than a 9 to 5 job that has a lot of limitations.

      I also found the following helpful: powerful sound therapy (healing music, any uplifting music that you enjoy, chanting mantras, singing, toning), aroma therapy (incense, essential oil diffuser, essential oil moderate applications depending on which kind,candles, etc.), color therapy (for clothes, home decorations, meditation videos, etc.), meditation (not necessarily sitting down, but being real comfortable even laying down), stating positive affirmations while feeling them (to include intention statements), positive visualizations, spending time in nature, taking care of plants, interacting with pets (especially cats), dancing, creativity (art, journaling, blogging, poetry, etc.), drinking LOTS of purified water, eating whatever you love without judgment (but using discernment), and while listening to your body’s signals, doing what you love (like Katya stated in a reply), deeply bonding with interconnected Life (to include other souls), pampering self, treating self, hugging wounded aspect of inner-child when needed, dream work, shadow work, and pretty much anything else that’s intriguing, fun and/or relaxing to you.

      Take care soul sister, and always remember to fall in love with the True Love within first and foremost by unconditionally accepting/embracing/loving ALL aspects of self at every moment (to the best of your every current ability); hence, being able to fully do so for others as well.

  4. Brenda Joy July 22, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Christina … I am right there with you … you wrote my words exactly … so thank you for your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable … and thank you Katya for such a beautiful response … it has helped me as well … I too would adore someone to talk with … I feel very alone with this … and yes … yesterday … I did feel like I was going crazy … today I’m feeling some relief!

  5. Barbara July 27, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Katya, thank you so much for the informative, encouraging, uplifting, empowering, and inspiring reading.

    Continue to Be an invaluable gift to humanity, Mother Earth, merging worlds, and beyond.

  6. Lynn Palmer August 4, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    Katya, you hit me between the eyes. Due to strange circumstances I am now living with an ex-husband I had not seen in 47 years, food and drink quirks, all of it! Thank you! I really needed you insights and clarity!

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